Thursday, December 9, 2010

The Deal With Boss

Ireland is wonderful. Beautiful. And I really, really enjoy the work that I do here. I'm currently "working" (sometimes Boss says volunteering, sometimes Boss says interning...) for a non-profit that shall remain nameless, because 1. I am afraid of Boss to a certain degree and 2. Nothing you say on the internet is truly private. Although Boss is fairly technologically inept (I think), I don't want to take the chances of Boss googling the name of Boss' non-profit and coming across this post. Which, to be honest, is not going to paint Boss in the best of lights. But it is going to be honest.

Anywho. We'll start by talking about what I'm doing over here. I basically work with two groups in the local community: a primary school, and a youth initiative that offers everything from after school programming to leadership development opportunities for youth that are considered "at-risk." I absolutely love love LOVE working with all of the kids in this community! I also love working with both the people who run the primary school and the people that run the youth initiative. The only - and I do mean only - person that causes me any grief is Boss.

To put it gently, Boss reminds me of a less-alcoholic, unmarried version of my mother. Think Mom circa 1999.

Not good.

Before moving to Ireland, I was warned that Boss is manipulative, controlling, obsessive, compulsively micro-managing, and a liar. Also, that Boss would try to trap me in Ireland, or trick me into coming back after the end of my five weeks here. Ever the adventurer, I decided to take my chances and have myself an Irish adventure for five weeks anyway. I mean, it was only five weeks, and it was fucking Ireland. I was ready to take my chances. And although I am very happy that I did come over here, Boss is everything I was warned Boss would be.

Boss lives in a world completely devoid of any semblance of reality, save that which Boss has built up in Boss' own mind. Back in America, I was told that I was going to be doing recreational programs in the schools, which, as a recent graduate with a Master's in Recreation and a previous Bachelor's in Education, I am fully qualified to do. Upon arriving in Ireland, I found out that Boss had promised both the principal of the primary school and the coordinator of the youth initiative that I, the experienced American THERAPIST, was coming to add my international THERAPEUTIC expertise to their programs, and that I would be conducting THERAPEUTIC sessions with the children that were in the most need of THERAPEUTIC intervention. Before I even left the country I made it very very clear that I am not a therapist of any sort, and that if I were working on programs that had therapeutic goals in mind, it would be imperative that the programs were designed and run by ACTUAL THERAPISTS. To try to tote myself as a therapist in any regard would not only be unethical from a work point of view, it would be potentially harmful to a bunch of already at-risk youth.

Although I made it very clear that I am not a therapist, Boss decided to sell me as one anyway. I know this to be true because one person I work with/for actually showed me an email in which Boss referred to me as "Cory the American Therapist." I. was. livid. when. I. saw. that. email.

Suddenly, not only am I a therapist, but I am supposed to run all these different THERAPY sessions with little kids ages 4-5, sessions made up of kids and their parents, AND a group of teenage girls who hurt themselves. Oh, and because I am such a qualified American Therapist, I am also supposed to run all of these sessions BY MYSELF. One time, when I re-confronted Boss on this issued during my second week here (a.k.a. my first week of work), Boss looked at me and said, "Well, maybe you're not a therapist but you have taken therapy classes in college."

NO I HAVE FUCKING NOT. I have never - ever! - taken any type of therapeutic classes in my whole entire life. EVER. And even if I had, since when is that the same thing as being a licensed therapist!?!?! IT'S NOT. When I pointed this out to Boss, Boss turned the conversation into a long, drawn-out, one-sided conversation about my self-esteem.

"Cory, you really just need to take ownership of the program. These kids are screwed up anyway, you're not going to hurt them or anything, they really can't be hurt any worse. Some of these kids are absolutely hopeless and we can't help them anyway, so don't even worry about them. If a few even show up, that will be just grand. I have all the confidence in the world in your abilities to deliver excellent programming for these children. Not only that, the Foundation has all the confidence in the world in your abilities as well!" Side note: the Foundation is made up of basically only Boss. When Boss speaks about the Foundation, Boss is usually just referring to Boss. "You are fully qualified to run all of these programs - look at what you've done with your life! You have so much experience working with children - just believe in yourself! Additionally, let me make note that the Foundation is incredibly proud of all of the amazing therapeutic work you have done so far."

Okay, friends and family. I'm going to give you a minute to re-read that paragraph, and count all of the crazy that's going on in there. Once you're done counting, look again and count all the more subtle bits of crazy you probably missed the first time. It's like peeling an onion.... an onion made out of bat-shit-crazy. The layers run deep, and the more you peel, the more your eyes weep.

First of all, this is not an issue with my self-esteem. I actually have, for the most part, great self-esteem. STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT MY FUCKING SELF-ESTEEM. I know I'm a great educator and recreationalist, but I am NOT a therapist and that is what I am addressing. Stop trying to CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

Also, you're proud of all that I've already done? Sorry, you're not proud - The Foundation is proud. My error. Thank god for the approval of The Foundation after about two days on the job.

Also-also, half of what you just said totally contradicts the other half of what you just said. Additionally, I talking to you is absolutely maddening because every time you get confronted on something, you talk circles around the other person and do not let them get a word in edgewise in the hopes that you can confuse them enough to belief whatever bullshit it is that you are saying to them. I'm on to your games, Crazy Train. I was raised by One Like You; don't think I can't smell your lying stink from about a mile away.

Also-also-most-of-all-also: some of these kids are HOPELESS? We should just GIVE UP on them??? Boss has said multiple times to me that some kids are not even worth the Foundation's trouble. I'm so fully appalled that someone who created a fucking children's foundation would ever ever EVER have that type of sentiments about children - especially the children that may need help the most!

The best part? As nuts as Boss is, Boss is at least ten-to-the-tenth power times more crazy towards everyone else Boss and I have worked with. To me, for the most part, Boss is sugary sweet, and feeds me all sorts of bullshit about what a dream I am. Let me re-iterate that this is all just smoke and mirrors, in an effort to have me endear myself to Boss. The best employee (intern/volunteer/whatever) in Boss' eyes is an employee full of utterly blind devotion. Blind devotion is super cool, because it stops employees (inters/volunteers/whatevers) from ever questioning Boss!

To others, Boss is certifiably insane, and doesn't even try to hide it. If someone even remotely questions Boss' methods, ideas, or morals, Boss turns around and full on slanders them to every single person and company that Boss knows. Boss talks a lot of shit... like, even more shit than I'm talking right now. Boss loves to attack people's personal lives. If anything goes wrong in the foundation, it is never Boss' fault - oh no! It is Person A or Person B or Person Z's fault, and the reason they have damaged the Foundation's reputation is because they have had the following personal problems in their life recently (here is where Boss goes into great detail, telling strangers about other strangers' personal lives in an attempt to showcase how really horrible that other person is and how because of their personal problems they are trying to single-handedly bring down the foundation. But never fear! Boss will have NONE of that!) I have seen Boss force grown adults to burst into tears because of personal slander Boss has generated in their field. If you cross Boss, Boss will try very hard to make sure you are unemployable in your field.

I feel like the only reason Boss is at least fake nice to me is because of my connection to the Foundation through a professor at school. Boss really really needs to maintain a good relationship between the Foundation and an American University for certain funding reasons. And so, although Boss will be nice to my face (mostly), I am pretty sure that if I didn't come from SIU, Boss would be trying to drag my name through the mud for god knows why as well.

Other Little Things Boss Has Done That Makes Me Grind My Teeth:
  • When I first got off the plane, Boss left me in Boss' nasty smelly vehicle for eight hours as Boss drove around Dublin doing errands. Jet lagged as I was, I fell in and out of consciousness for the whole of the day, crammed in Boss' front seat in a jeep that wreaked of small dog. Welcome to Ireland, Cory Maria.
  • Upon arriving in Ireland, Boss also tried to get me to take these weird pills and medicines, almost forcing them on me, saying that I needed them so I could sleep better at night... I finally looked so uncofortable that Boss stopped pushing, but left the pills at my dinner place for about a week.
  • Boss insists that I have my phone on LOUD at all times and gets very angry if I do not answer Boss' phone calls on the first or second ring... even if Boss is calling at 8:30 in the morning on a Saturday when I don't have to work until 2:PM.
  • Boss did not pay me my agreed upon living stipend during my first week here, and has not paid me my living stipend for the last two weeks, and will probably not pay me for the days I am here next week. That means I've only gotten my stipend two out of the five weeks that I will be here.
  • Boss wanted me to open a bank account so that Boss could deposit large amounts of money into my account - Boss mentioned it would be in the thousands - and then I would be required to write Boss a check in the exact same amount of what Boss put in my account, and then and only then would Boss pay me my $200 a week living stipend. I purposefully never opened a bank account because... oh, I don't know... I didn't feel like getting arrested in a foreign country for money laundering or embezzling or some shit.

Major Problems With Boss:
  • When watching TV, Boss refers to most female movie stars/actoresses as bitches, whores, sluts and ugly skanks. Boss has a particularly nasty and vulgar hatred towards Zooey Deschanel in 500 Days of Summer.
  • While on the phone, I heard boss refer to black people as the N-Word four different times!!!!! Boss doesn't know that I heard this, but I heard it clear as day when watching TV at Boss' house. Boss thought Boss had shut the living room door all the way, but Boss did not. After I heard the n-bomb dropped the first time, I muted the TV, thinking I must have been mistaken. But nooooooooo. Clear as a bell, THREE times later, I heard Boss drop it again. What. the. fuuuuuuuuck!
  • Boss was quite cross with a collegue of mine recently. Boss said that Collegue was rude, ignorant, and aggressive, and then said that Collegue was - AND I QUOTE - "Acting incredibly Lower Class."

And then I threw up.


I could go on with soooooooooo many more stories on why Boss disgusts me to my core, but I am exhausted and need to get up in about four hours for work. Apologies for the million typos I probably made in advance. I just had to get some of that shit off of my chest so that future posts can focus more on the many good things that have happened while out here. But really.... things I have heard Boss say and watched Boss do have left me stunned and speechless... and I am a woman who is very rarely ever stunned or speechless.

I am bracing myself for a very frank and honest conversation with my professor - and possibly my department chair - concerning the the behavior, attitude, and character of Boss. I am not sure Boss, or The Foundation for that matter, is something SIU should associate itself with anymore...

*Le sigh

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