I know you're not supposed to have favorite students. Or favorites classes, for that matter. But I have to say, the Senior Infants (the 5 year olds) have totally stolen my heart ♥. Both the Junior Infants (4 year olds) and the Senior Infants are ridiculously cute. I'd forgotten just how small and precious four and five year olds are! And what's not to love when 20 adorable little kids run to you, latch onto your legs, scream your name at the top of their lungs, and tell you that they love you :)
One day I was helping the Senior Infants learn the Primary Colors (gah! I miss pre-school!) when the teacher suddenly had to leave the room to talk to a parent. She asked me if I could quick have all the kids sit on their carpet squares (bright, beautiful carpet squares!) and read them "a big book." And a big book it was indeed. I sat on a "grown-up stool" with a gigantic picture book on my lap called Owl Babies. And let me tell you what - never have I EVER seen anyone as happy as these five year olds were while I was reading Owl Babies. As I was getting ready, they kept cheering "Awol Beh-Bays! AWOL BEH-BAYS!" in their adorable little Irish accents. These kids went ape shit for Owl Babies. I thought I was going to implode from cuteness overload. And what a happy little implosion it would have been.
For the past few weeks, every time Boss has started to seriously stress me out, I've stopped and pictured 20 adorable lil' babies yelling "Awol Beh-Bays!" And it has made me smile every single time. I'd give anything to read Owl Babies to those kids every day for the rest of the year ♥.
Another highlight every week has been getting to play with a little boy named Kemal in the Junior Infants class. This little boy is the living, breathing, human embodiment of Gus-Gus from Disney's Cinderella in every way, shape and form. First of all, he was adorably slightly pudgy, rocking the healthy-but-round little tummy that only four year olds can pull off. Kemal even sounds like Gus-Gus when he talks. And when he plays, he teeters around the room, literally singing duh duh det da, just like Gus-Gus. On my last day at work, I actually used my camera to film a little clip of him playing, for the sole purpose of showing people back home that I had met Gus-Gus in human form.
I have also come to love and adore this hilarious boy from the Sixth Class named Cillian. The first day we met, we somehow struck up a conversation about our mutual obsessive love of Harry Potter. From that moment on, Cillian has bombarded me with a barrage of HP Trivia every time I've seen him. We try to stump each other, but in truth, I think he stumps me more often :) Another reason why I adore this kid? Every single time I walk into the classroom, or see him in the halls, or make eye contact with him during a lesson, he performs the Killing Curse on me ♥. It doesn't matter if his teacher is in the middle of lecturing - if Cillian can catch my eye, he'll wave an invisible wand at me and mouth Avada Kedavra. I've taken to counter-cursing him by casting a Patronus Charm, which, he accurately protests, would not really help me in this situation.
Cillian (mouthing at me from across the classroom): "Avada Kedavra!"
Me (holding up a sign I made, which reads): EXPECTO PATRONUM!
"You can't do that!"
"Can't do what?"
"Cory, you can't use a Patronus Charm on me. I'm not a dementor."
"Yeah, but you just tried to kill me. And killing people is really evil. And dementors are totally evil. Therefore, if I can use a Patronus to protect myself from a dementor, I can use one to protect myself from you."
"It doesn't work that way. And you know it."
"You're... you're right."
"So, I killed you!"
"Yeah, about that... you would have maybe killed me, if I hadn't performed the Imperious Curse on you earlier when you weren't looking."
"What!?! No you didn't, I would have known it!"
"No you wouldn't. And you didn't, because I am sooooo good at the Imperious Curse. I made it so that if you ever tried to use the killing curse on me, you would subconsciously, automatically botch the spell, and thus never be able to kill me."
"But wait! The Imperious Curse is Unforgivable, and so upon performing, you were sent to Azkaban and it was there that the dementors attacked you and so you really DID die in the end! SO I WIN."
"Dementors? What dementors? Oh, you mean the ones I used my well-practiced Patronus Charm on, right before I escaped from Azkaban forever and ran away to the British countryside where I'm now living a life of freedom? Did you mean... those dementors?"
"What? Nooo! How could you...?? WAIT. None of that actually happened because BEFORE you tried to use the Imperious Curse on me, yesterday I waited until your guard was down and I Imperious-ed YOU."
"Yesterday? Oh I remember that... you tried so hard... Sorry that didn't work out for you."
"What?! You didn't block my curse!"
"Yes I did."
"HOW."
"Occlumency. I've been taking private lessons from Snape. Since the beginning of time."
"CORY. Occlumency does not protect you from the Imperious Curse. It is only used to -"
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!!!!!!!!"
Annnnd, repeat the entire conversation at least three more times. Sometimes I actually relent and let him kill me, dropping dead on top of my desk much the way Jim Halpert used die of boredom when he knew Pam was watching.
...Did I mention how much I love the kids at this school?
♥♥♥
Saturday, December 11, 2010
The Joys of Work
I've had an angry post. I've had a sad post. Time to talk about all of the wonderful things over here that bring so much joy to my life ♥.
I love my job! I love the kids I get to work with - both the teens at the youth initiative, and the adorable lil' babies I get to work with at my primary school!!! As you know, there is a lot of stress dealing with Boss in any capacity, but the actual work I have been able to do here has been so incredibly fun and rewarding. I'm really grateful for every single second I've spent "on the job."
Yesterday was my last day at Corpus Christi Primary, and it was so hard to say goodbye to all of the wonderful kids and staff there. Of course I took about a million pictures of all of my kiddos, and was happily hugged about 20 times every second ♥. Tiernan, the amazing principle, even gave me a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, and a sweet card as a going away present! It was so thoughtful and generous, especially considering I've only been there a month. If I could find a way back to Ireland - specifically back to Moyross - without having to sell my soul to Boss in order to do it, I would come back in a heart beat ♥.
Corpus Christi Primary School: home of the most delightful children ever. Primary schools here include children from Junior and Senior Infants (our pre-pre-school and pre-school equivalent) all the way to Sixth Class (our equivalent of 5th grade). That means the children's ages range from four years old (lil' babies!) to around 11 years old. They do have what they call pre-school here, but Irish pre-schools are not usually found in the primary schools. They are usually separate entities (as are ours) although my primary school happens to host a pre-school as well. Additionally, pre-school here is really the equivalent of a school-based day care in the U.S., as those children are only three years old!
At Corpus Christi, I've mainly been working with the Junior Infants (aged 4), the Senior Infants (aged 5), and the Sixth Class (ages 10-11). I have also spent some time working with an awesome kid named Scott from the Fifth Class who has autism. Because Scott is so sweet and well behaved, he doesn't necessarily get all of the extra attention that he needs (classic The Squeaky Wheel Gets The Grease syndrome). We spent most of the day coloring and reading stories - and we both absolutely loved every minute of it ♥. One day I also was able to work with one of the special services teachers, helping a bunch of awesome kids with special needs bake a dessert ♥. And on Thursday, I had the opportunity to work with the school choir! The choir sang Christmas Carols at the Moyross Community Center while all of the little kids in the community waited for the arrival of Santa Claus :) The monks in the community were also on hand to bless all of the new babies in the community, in preparation for their first Christmas ever. It was all very sweet! Another big event of the afternoon was when they turned on the lights on the community's "Crib," which is what they call what we call the Nativity Scene. The first time I heard people talking about "Cribs" I was so confused. But I love it - I think I'm going to start calling Nativity Scenes "Cribs" from now on, just to make myself smile :)
Over the past four weeks, the school has been wonderful about letting me experience a lot of different classes and programs, and I am incredibly grateful for it. I've been able to both design and run my own programs (with the Junior and Senior Infants) and act as a teacher's aid/observer for other classes. It's been such a blast, and I wish I could stay with these kids for the entire school year. All of the Sixth Class kids kept asking me if I could come back for their Confirmation in May :) I wish I could - I really wish I could. Maybe I'll have figured out a way back to Moyross by then ♥.
Side-note: the kids were super fascinated to hear that in America, we are not allowed to talk about religion in our schools, unless you go to a private school. Here in Ireland, everyone really is Catholic, if not Christian in general, and so the concept of living in a country that has many religions in it was super mind-blowing for them. They understood that we can't teach religion in our public schools because not everyone is the same religion, but it still rocked their world to imagine a school experience where you didn't pray every day, or say grace, or learn about Jesus. I told them that I kind of understood how they felt, as I had gone to Catholic school from Kindergarten through third grade, and that it was really weird in fourth grade (my first year in public school) to suddenly not go to mass every Friday, and to not say grace every day before lunch.
I have a ton of super-fun stories to share about my experiences with these amazing kids, but I have to hurry and shower because I need to be at work in about an hour. It's my last day working with the Youth Initiative! But I'll be back to tell more stories. I really should have started this blog the day I got here, instead of during my last week in the country ♥. Oh well, I've come to accept the fact that that is just how I roll... To be honest, I'm proud of myself for even getting around to starting a blog at all, hahaha :)
Until next time!
♥
I love my job! I love the kids I get to work with - both the teens at the youth initiative, and the adorable lil' babies I get to work with at my primary school!!! As you know, there is a lot of stress dealing with Boss in any capacity, but the actual work I have been able to do here has been so incredibly fun and rewarding. I'm really grateful for every single second I've spent "on the job."
Yesterday was my last day at Corpus Christi Primary, and it was so hard to say goodbye to all of the wonderful kids and staff there. Of course I took about a million pictures of all of my kiddos, and was happily hugged about 20 times every second ♥. Tiernan, the amazing principle, even gave me a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, and a sweet card as a going away present! It was so thoughtful and generous, especially considering I've only been there a month. If I could find a way back to Ireland - specifically back to Moyross - without having to sell my soul to Boss in order to do it, I would come back in a heart beat ♥.
Corpus Christi Primary School: home of the most delightful children ever. Primary schools here include children from Junior and Senior Infants (our pre-pre-school and pre-school equivalent) all the way to Sixth Class (our equivalent of 5th grade). That means the children's ages range from four years old (lil' babies!) to around 11 years old. They do have what they call pre-school here, but Irish pre-schools are not usually found in the primary schools. They are usually separate entities (as are ours) although my primary school happens to host a pre-school as well. Additionally, pre-school here is really the equivalent of a school-based day care in the U.S., as those children are only three years old!
At Corpus Christi, I've mainly been working with the Junior Infants (aged 4), the Senior Infants (aged 5), and the Sixth Class (ages 10-11). I have also spent some time working with an awesome kid named Scott from the Fifth Class who has autism. Because Scott is so sweet and well behaved, he doesn't necessarily get all of the extra attention that he needs (classic The Squeaky Wheel Gets The Grease syndrome). We spent most of the day coloring and reading stories - and we both absolutely loved every minute of it ♥. One day I also was able to work with one of the special services teachers, helping a bunch of awesome kids with special needs bake a dessert ♥. And on Thursday, I had the opportunity to work with the school choir! The choir sang Christmas Carols at the Moyross Community Center while all of the little kids in the community waited for the arrival of Santa Claus :) The monks in the community were also on hand to bless all of the new babies in the community, in preparation for their first Christmas ever. It was all very sweet! Another big event of the afternoon was when they turned on the lights on the community's "Crib," which is what they call what we call the Nativity Scene. The first time I heard people talking about "Cribs" I was so confused. But I love it - I think I'm going to start calling Nativity Scenes "Cribs" from now on, just to make myself smile :)
Over the past four weeks, the school has been wonderful about letting me experience a lot of different classes and programs, and I am incredibly grateful for it. I've been able to both design and run my own programs (with the Junior and Senior Infants) and act as a teacher's aid/observer for other classes. It's been such a blast, and I wish I could stay with these kids for the entire school year. All of the Sixth Class kids kept asking me if I could come back for their Confirmation in May :) I wish I could - I really wish I could. Maybe I'll have figured out a way back to Moyross by then ♥.
Side-note: the kids were super fascinated to hear that in America, we are not allowed to talk about religion in our schools, unless you go to a private school. Here in Ireland, everyone really is Catholic, if not Christian in general, and so the concept of living in a country that has many religions in it was super mind-blowing for them. They understood that we can't teach religion in our public schools because not everyone is the same religion, but it still rocked their world to imagine a school experience where you didn't pray every day, or say grace, or learn about Jesus. I told them that I kind of understood how they felt, as I had gone to Catholic school from Kindergarten through third grade, and that it was really weird in fourth grade (my first year in public school) to suddenly not go to mass every Friday, and to not say grace every day before lunch.
I have a ton of super-fun stories to share about my experiences with these amazing kids, but I have to hurry and shower because I need to be at work in about an hour. It's my last day working with the Youth Initiative! But I'll be back to tell more stories. I really should have started this blog the day I got here, instead of during my last week in the country ♥. Oh well, I've come to accept the fact that that is just how I roll... To be honest, I'm proud of myself for even getting around to starting a blog at all, hahaha :)
Until next time!
♥
I Took A Little Drive Around The Neighborhood Yesterday
These five past weeks I've been in Ireland I have been based out of Limerick and working in Moyross. Moyross has always been described to me as a crime-filled, gang and drug riddled section of Limerick that most people try to never go to. Every single time I have told anyone here that I am working in Moyross, their jaws completely hit the floor and they tell me that I am a saint... I never knew quite how to react to that.
I didn't think that Moyross was that bad, but yesterday (my last day at the school) I actually drove into the heart of Moyross, away from the school and the public library, which is where I have spent all of my time. The school and the library are very safe, clean, and well heated. They are also on the outer edge of Moyross, before you start heading into the rest of Limerick.
Driving through deeper, inner Moyross really shook me up. And I only drove through a little part of it, quickly turning around because I recognized that I was driving through an area where it would probably not be safe for a young girl to be driving around by herself. I had previously thought that Moyross was not that bad - that other people were exaggerating. My drive yesterday forced me to realized that my presence in Moyross was mostly a sheltered one. It broke my heart and made me want to come back even more next year... Going home next week seems sort of cruel, somehow.
Comparisons help people understand sometimes. People in Ireland talk about Moyross the way people in Chicago talk about the South Side, or people in St. Louis talk about East St. Louis. Yesterday, while I was volunteering at the Youth Cafe, I had a teenage boy asked me if Minnesota is close to Compton. "You mean, Compton, California?"
"Yeah, the place with all the shootings and the guns and the drugs."
"No, Compton is really far away from Minnesota. I've never been there."
"Well, it's much worse here. I guarantee you, things are much worse here."
People have told me this is one of the most dangerous places in the Europe... I didn't really believe them because 1. I was living a bit of a sheltered existence via the safety of the school and the youth initiative, and 2. Moyross is really small. It's actually a cul-de-sac: only one way in and one way out. But that is part of what makes it so dangerous. The police, known as the Guards over here, have to be very careful when they respond to calls from Moyross because they know they can get trapped in the neighborhood if they're not careful.
Now, let me reiterate that I have been very safe in all of my endeavors over here. The areas where I work are safe, and the people that I work with have looked out for me as well. I was so well looked after, that I underestimated how safe life is for the little children and the teenagers that I spent time with every week. I love the shit out of all of the little kids and the teens that I work with, and it's just... well, it's all just sort of heart breaking.
I wish I could stay longer, to help them more and to do more good.
I didn't think that Moyross was that bad, but yesterday (my last day at the school) I actually drove into the heart of Moyross, away from the school and the public library, which is where I have spent all of my time. The school and the library are very safe, clean, and well heated. They are also on the outer edge of Moyross, before you start heading into the rest of Limerick.
Driving through deeper, inner Moyross really shook me up. And I only drove through a little part of it, quickly turning around because I recognized that I was driving through an area where it would probably not be safe for a young girl to be driving around by herself. I had previously thought that Moyross was not that bad - that other people were exaggerating. My drive yesterday forced me to realized that my presence in Moyross was mostly a sheltered one. It broke my heart and made me want to come back even more next year... Going home next week seems sort of cruel, somehow.
Comparisons help people understand sometimes. People in Ireland talk about Moyross the way people in Chicago talk about the South Side, or people in St. Louis talk about East St. Louis. Yesterday, while I was volunteering at the Youth Cafe, I had a teenage boy asked me if Minnesota is close to Compton. "You mean, Compton, California?"
"Yeah, the place with all the shootings and the guns and the drugs."
"No, Compton is really far away from Minnesota. I've never been there."
"Well, it's much worse here. I guarantee you, things are much worse here."
People have told me this is one of the most dangerous places in the Europe... I didn't really believe them because 1. I was living a bit of a sheltered existence via the safety of the school and the youth initiative, and 2. Moyross is really small. It's actually a cul-de-sac: only one way in and one way out. But that is part of what makes it so dangerous. The police, known as the Guards over here, have to be very careful when they respond to calls from Moyross because they know they can get trapped in the neighborhood if they're not careful.
Now, let me reiterate that I have been very safe in all of my endeavors over here. The areas where I work are safe, and the people that I work with have looked out for me as well. I was so well looked after, that I underestimated how safe life is for the little children and the teenagers that I spent time with every week. I love the shit out of all of the little kids and the teens that I work with, and it's just... well, it's all just sort of heart breaking.
I wish I could stay longer, to help them more and to do more good.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
The Deal With Boss
Ireland is wonderful. Beautiful. And I really, really enjoy the work that I do here. I'm currently "working" (sometimes Boss says volunteering, sometimes Boss says interning...) for a non-profit that shall remain nameless, because 1. I am afraid of Boss to a certain degree and 2. Nothing you say on the internet is truly private. Although Boss is fairly technologically inept (I think), I don't want to take the chances of Boss googling the name of Boss' non-profit and coming across this post. Which, to be honest, is not going to paint Boss in the best of lights. But it is going to be honest.
Anywho. We'll start by talking about what I'm doing over here. I basically work with two groups in the local community: a primary school, and a youth initiative that offers everything from after school programming to leadership development opportunities for youth that are considered "at-risk." I absolutely love love LOVE working with all of the kids in this community! I also love working with both the people who run the primary school and the people that run the youth initiative. The only - and I do mean only - person that causes me any grief is Boss.
To put it gently, Boss reminds me of a less-alcoholic, unmarried version of my mother. Think Mom circa 1999.
Not good.
Before moving to Ireland, I was warned that Boss is manipulative, controlling, obsessive, compulsively micro-managing, and a liar. Also, that Boss would try to trap me in Ireland, or trick me into coming back after the end of my five weeks here. Ever the adventurer, I decided to take my chances and have myself an Irish adventure for five weeks anyway. I mean, it was only five weeks, and it was fucking Ireland. I was ready to take my chances. And although I am very happy that I did come over here, Boss is everything I was warned Boss would be.
Boss lives in a world completely devoid of any semblance of reality, save that which Boss has built up in Boss' own mind. Back in America, I was told that I was going to be doing recreational programs in the schools, which, as a recent graduate with a Master's in Recreation and a previous Bachelor's in Education, I am fully qualified to do. Upon arriving in Ireland, I found out that Boss had promised both the principal of the primary school and the coordinator of the youth initiative that I, the experienced American THERAPIST, was coming to add my international THERAPEUTIC expertise to their programs, and that I would be conducting THERAPEUTIC sessions with the children that were in the most need of THERAPEUTIC intervention. Before I even left the country I made it very very clear that I am not a therapist of any sort, and that if I were working on programs that had therapeutic goals in mind, it would be imperative that the programs were designed and run by ACTUAL THERAPISTS. To try to tote myself as a therapist in any regard would not only be unethical from a work point of view, it would be potentially harmful to a bunch of already at-risk youth.
Although I made it very clear that I am not a therapist, Boss decided to sell me as one anyway. I know this to be true because one person I work with/for actually showed me an email in which Boss referred to me as "Cory the American Therapist." I. was. livid. when. I. saw. that. email.
Suddenly, not only am I a therapist, but I am supposed to run all these different THERAPY sessions with little kids ages 4-5, sessions made up of kids and their parents, AND a group of teenage girls who hurt themselves. Oh, and because I am such a qualified American Therapist, I am also supposed to run all of these sessions BY MYSELF. One time, when I re-confronted Boss on this issued during my second week here (a.k.a. my first week of work), Boss looked at me and said, "Well, maybe you're not a therapist but you have taken therapy classes in college."
NO I HAVE FUCKING NOT. I have never - ever! - taken any type of therapeutic classes in my whole entire life. EVER. And even if I had, since when is that the same thing as being a licensed therapist!?!?! IT'S NOT. When I pointed this out to Boss, Boss turned the conversation into a long, drawn-out, one-sided conversation about my self-esteem.
"Cory, you really just need to take ownership of the program. These kids are screwed up anyway, you're not going to hurt them or anything, they really can't be hurt any worse. Some of these kids are absolutely hopeless and we can't help them anyway, so don't even worry about them. If a few even show up, that will be just grand. I have all the confidence in the world in your abilities to deliver excellent programming for these children. Not only that, the Foundation has all the confidence in the world in your abilities as well!" Side note: the Foundation is made up of basically only Boss. When Boss speaks about the Foundation, Boss is usually just referring to Boss. "You are fully qualified to run all of these programs - look at what you've done with your life! You have so much experience working with children - just believe in yourself! Additionally, let me make note that the Foundation is incredibly proud of all of the amazing therapeutic work you have done so far."
Okay, friends and family. I'm going to give you a minute to re-read that paragraph, and count all of the crazy that's going on in there. Once you're done counting, look again and count all the more subtle bits of crazy you probably missed the first time. It's like peeling an onion.... an onion made out of bat-shit-crazy. The layers run deep, and the more you peel, the more your eyes weep.
First of all, this is not an issue with my self-esteem. I actually have, for the most part, great self-esteem. STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT MY FUCKING SELF-ESTEEM. I know I'm a great educator and recreationalist, but I am NOT a therapist and that is what I am addressing. Stop trying to CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
Also, you're proud of all that I've already done? Sorry, you're not proud - The Foundation is proud. My error. Thank god for the approval of The Foundation after about two days on the job.
Also-also, half of what you just said totally contradicts the other half of what you just said. Additionally, I talking to you is absolutely maddening because every time you get confronted on something, you talk circles around the other person and do not let them get a word in edgewise in the hopes that you can confuse them enough to belief whatever bullshit it is that you are saying to them. I'm on to your games, Crazy Train. I was raised by One Like You; don't think I can't smell your lying stink from about a mile away.
Also-also-most-of-all-also: some of these kids are HOPELESS? We should just GIVE UP on them??? Boss has said multiple times to me that some kids are not even worth the Foundation's trouble. I'm so fully appalled that someone who created a fucking children's foundation would ever ever EVER have that type of sentiments about children - especially the children that may need help the most!
The best part? As nuts as Boss is, Boss is at least ten-to-the-tenth power times more crazy towards everyone else Boss and I have worked with. To me, for the most part, Boss is sugary sweet, and feeds me all sorts of bullshit about what a dream I am. Let me re-iterate that this is all just smoke and mirrors, in an effort to have me endear myself to Boss. The best employee (intern/volunteer/whatever) in Boss' eyes is an employee full of utterly blind devotion. Blind devotion is super cool, because it stops employees (inters/volunteers/whatevers) from ever questioning Boss!
To others, Boss is certifiably insane, and doesn't even try to hide it. If someone even remotely questions Boss' methods, ideas, or morals, Boss turns around and full on slanders them to every single person and company that Boss knows. Boss talks a lot of shit... like, even more shit than I'm talking right now. Boss loves to attack people's personal lives. If anything goes wrong in the foundation, it is never Boss' fault - oh no! It is Person A or Person B or Person Z's fault, and the reason they have damaged the Foundation's reputation is because they have had the following personal problems in their life recently (here is where Boss goes into great detail, telling strangers about other strangers' personal lives in an attempt to showcase how really horrible that other person is and how because of their personal problems they are trying to single-handedly bring down the foundation. But never fear! Boss will have NONE of that!) I have seen Boss force grown adults to burst into tears because of personal slander Boss has generated in their field. If you cross Boss, Boss will try very hard to make sure you are unemployable in your field.
I feel like the only reason Boss is at least fake nice to me is because of my connection to the Foundation through a professor at school. Boss really really needs to maintain a good relationship between the Foundation and an American University for certain funding reasons. And so, although Boss will be nice to my face (mostly), I am pretty sure that if I didn't come from SIU, Boss would be trying to drag my name through the mud for god knows why as well.
Other Little Things Boss Has Done That Makes Me Grind My Teeth:
Major Problems With Boss:
And then I threw up.
I could go on with soooooooooo many more stories on why Boss disgusts me to my core, but I am exhausted and need to get up in about four hours for work. Apologies for the million typos I probably made in advance. I just had to get some of that shit off of my chest so that future posts can focus more on the many good things that have happened while out here. But really.... things I have heard Boss say and watched Boss do have left me stunned and speechless... and I am a woman who is very rarely ever stunned or speechless.
I am bracing myself for a very frank and honest conversation with my professor - and possibly my department chair - concerning the the behavior, attitude, and character of Boss. I am not sure Boss, or The Foundation for that matter, is something SIU should associate itself with anymore...
*Le sigh
Anywho. We'll start by talking about what I'm doing over here. I basically work with two groups in the local community: a primary school, and a youth initiative that offers everything from after school programming to leadership development opportunities for youth that are considered "at-risk." I absolutely love love LOVE working with all of the kids in this community! I also love working with both the people who run the primary school and the people that run the youth initiative. The only - and I do mean only - person that causes me any grief is Boss.
To put it gently, Boss reminds me of a less-alcoholic, unmarried version of my mother. Think Mom circa 1999.
Not good.
Before moving to Ireland, I was warned that Boss is manipulative, controlling, obsessive, compulsively micro-managing, and a liar. Also, that Boss would try to trap me in Ireland, or trick me into coming back after the end of my five weeks here. Ever the adventurer, I decided to take my chances and have myself an Irish adventure for five weeks anyway. I mean, it was only five weeks, and it was fucking Ireland. I was ready to take my chances. And although I am very happy that I did come over here, Boss is everything I was warned Boss would be.
Boss lives in a world completely devoid of any semblance of reality, save that which Boss has built up in Boss' own mind. Back in America, I was told that I was going to be doing recreational programs in the schools, which, as a recent graduate with a Master's in Recreation and a previous Bachelor's in Education, I am fully qualified to do. Upon arriving in Ireland, I found out that Boss had promised both the principal of the primary school and the coordinator of the youth initiative that I, the experienced American THERAPIST, was coming to add my international THERAPEUTIC expertise to their programs, and that I would be conducting THERAPEUTIC sessions with the children that were in the most need of THERAPEUTIC intervention. Before I even left the country I made it very very clear that I am not a therapist of any sort, and that if I were working on programs that had therapeutic goals in mind, it would be imperative that the programs were designed and run by ACTUAL THERAPISTS. To try to tote myself as a therapist in any regard would not only be unethical from a work point of view, it would be potentially harmful to a bunch of already at-risk youth.
Although I made it very clear that I am not a therapist, Boss decided to sell me as one anyway. I know this to be true because one person I work with/for actually showed me an email in which Boss referred to me as "Cory the American Therapist." I. was. livid. when. I. saw. that. email.
Suddenly, not only am I a therapist, but I am supposed to run all these different THERAPY sessions with little kids ages 4-5, sessions made up of kids and their parents, AND a group of teenage girls who hurt themselves. Oh, and because I am such a qualified American Therapist, I am also supposed to run all of these sessions BY MYSELF. One time, when I re-confronted Boss on this issued during my second week here (a.k.a. my first week of work), Boss looked at me and said, "Well, maybe you're not a therapist but you have taken therapy classes in college."
NO I HAVE FUCKING NOT. I have never - ever! - taken any type of therapeutic classes in my whole entire life. EVER. And even if I had, since when is that the same thing as being a licensed therapist!?!?! IT'S NOT. When I pointed this out to Boss, Boss turned the conversation into a long, drawn-out, one-sided conversation about my self-esteem.
"Cory, you really just need to take ownership of the program. These kids are screwed up anyway, you're not going to hurt them or anything, they really can't be hurt any worse. Some of these kids are absolutely hopeless and we can't help them anyway, so don't even worry about them. If a few even show up, that will be just grand. I have all the confidence in the world in your abilities to deliver excellent programming for these children. Not only that, the Foundation has all the confidence in the world in your abilities as well!" Side note: the Foundation is made up of basically only Boss. When Boss speaks about the Foundation, Boss is usually just referring to Boss. "You are fully qualified to run all of these programs - look at what you've done with your life! You have so much experience working with children - just believe in yourself! Additionally, let me make note that the Foundation is incredibly proud of all of the amazing therapeutic work you have done so far."
Okay, friends and family. I'm going to give you a minute to re-read that paragraph, and count all of the crazy that's going on in there. Once you're done counting, look again and count all the more subtle bits of crazy you probably missed the first time. It's like peeling an onion.... an onion made out of bat-shit-crazy. The layers run deep, and the more you peel, the more your eyes weep.
First of all, this is not an issue with my self-esteem. I actually have, for the most part, great self-esteem. STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT MY FUCKING SELF-ESTEEM. I know I'm a great educator and recreationalist, but I am NOT a therapist and that is what I am addressing. Stop trying to CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
Also, you're proud of all that I've already done? Sorry, you're not proud - The Foundation is proud. My error. Thank god for the approval of The Foundation after about two days on the job.
Also-also, half of what you just said totally contradicts the other half of what you just said. Additionally, I talking to you is absolutely maddening because every time you get confronted on something, you talk circles around the other person and do not let them get a word in edgewise in the hopes that you can confuse them enough to belief whatever bullshit it is that you are saying to them. I'm on to your games, Crazy Train. I was raised by One Like You; don't think I can't smell your lying stink from about a mile away.
Also-also-most-of-all-also: some of these kids are HOPELESS? We should just GIVE UP on them??? Boss has said multiple times to me that some kids are not even worth the Foundation's trouble. I'm so fully appalled that someone who created a fucking children's foundation would ever ever EVER have that type of sentiments about children - especially the children that may need help the most!
The best part? As nuts as Boss is, Boss is at least ten-to-the-tenth power times more crazy towards everyone else Boss and I have worked with. To me, for the most part, Boss is sugary sweet, and feeds me all sorts of bullshit about what a dream I am. Let me re-iterate that this is all just smoke and mirrors, in an effort to have me endear myself to Boss. The best employee (intern/volunteer/whatever) in Boss' eyes is an employee full of utterly blind devotion. Blind devotion is super cool, because it stops employees (inters/volunteers/whatevers) from ever questioning Boss!
To others, Boss is certifiably insane, and doesn't even try to hide it. If someone even remotely questions Boss' methods, ideas, or morals, Boss turns around and full on slanders them to every single person and company that Boss knows. Boss talks a lot of shit... like, even more shit than I'm talking right now. Boss loves to attack people's personal lives. If anything goes wrong in the foundation, it is never Boss' fault - oh no! It is Person A or Person B or Person Z's fault, and the reason they have damaged the Foundation's reputation is because they have had the following personal problems in their life recently (here is where Boss goes into great detail, telling strangers about other strangers' personal lives in an attempt to showcase how really horrible that other person is and how because of their personal problems they are trying to single-handedly bring down the foundation. But never fear! Boss will have NONE of that!) I have seen Boss force grown adults to burst into tears because of personal slander Boss has generated in their field. If you cross Boss, Boss will try very hard to make sure you are unemployable in your field.
I feel like the only reason Boss is at least fake nice to me is because of my connection to the Foundation through a professor at school. Boss really really needs to maintain a good relationship between the Foundation and an American University for certain funding reasons. And so, although Boss will be nice to my face (mostly), I am pretty sure that if I didn't come from SIU, Boss would be trying to drag my name through the mud for god knows why as well.
Other Little Things Boss Has Done That Makes Me Grind My Teeth:
- When I first got off the plane, Boss left me in Boss' nasty smelly vehicle for eight hours as Boss drove around Dublin doing errands. Jet lagged as I was, I fell in and out of consciousness for the whole of the day, crammed in Boss' front seat in a jeep that wreaked of small dog. Welcome to Ireland, Cory Maria.
- Upon arriving in Ireland, Boss also tried to get me to take these weird pills and medicines, almost forcing them on me, saying that I needed them so I could sleep better at night... I finally looked so uncofortable that Boss stopped pushing, but left the pills at my dinner place for about a week.
- Boss insists that I have my phone on LOUD at all times and gets very angry if I do not answer Boss' phone calls on the first or second ring... even if Boss is calling at 8:30 in the morning on a Saturday when I don't have to work until 2:PM.
- Boss did not pay me my agreed upon living stipend during my first week here, and has not paid me my living stipend for the last two weeks, and will probably not pay me for the days I am here next week. That means I've only gotten my stipend two out of the five weeks that I will be here.
- Boss wanted me to open a bank account so that Boss could deposit large amounts of money into my account - Boss mentioned it would be in the thousands - and then I would be required to write Boss a check in the exact same amount of what Boss put in my account, and then and only then would Boss pay me my $200 a week living stipend. I purposefully never opened a bank account because... oh, I don't know... I didn't feel like getting arrested in a foreign country for money laundering or embezzling or some shit.
Major Problems With Boss:
- When watching TV, Boss refers to most female movie stars/actoresses as bitches, whores, sluts and ugly skanks. Boss has a particularly nasty and vulgar hatred towards Zooey Deschanel in 500 Days of Summer.
- While on the phone, I heard boss refer to black people as the N-Word four different times!!!!! Boss doesn't know that I heard this, but I heard it clear as day when watching TV at Boss' house. Boss thought Boss had shut the living room door all the way, but Boss did not. After I heard the n-bomb dropped the first time, I muted the TV, thinking I must have been mistaken. But nooooooooo. Clear as a bell, THREE times later, I heard Boss drop it again. What. the. fuuuuuuuuck!
- Boss was quite cross with a collegue of mine recently. Boss said that Collegue was rude, ignorant, and aggressive, and then said that Collegue was - AND I QUOTE - "Acting incredibly Lower Class."
And then I threw up.
I could go on with soooooooooo many more stories on why Boss disgusts me to my core, but I am exhausted and need to get up in about four hours for work. Apologies for the million typos I probably made in advance. I just had to get some of that shit off of my chest so that future posts can focus more on the many good things that have happened while out here. But really.... things I have heard Boss say and watched Boss do have left me stunned and speechless... and I am a woman who is very rarely ever stunned or speechless.
I am bracing myself for a very frank and honest conversation with my professor - and possibly my department chair - concerning the the behavior, attitude, and character of Boss. I am not sure Boss, or The Foundation for that matter, is something SIU should associate itself with anymore...
*Le sigh
Consider The Milk Tilted.
First post on the new blog! This baby is officially up and running.
Once upon a time, before facebook (and even before that, LiveJournal) took up all of my internetal time, I lived for blogging. Not in a platformy-political-social-justicey sort of way. More like in a All of My Friends and I Have a Forum Where We Can Talk Shit About Whatever We Want sort of way. I even taught myself HTML so that I could delish-ify the Sisters Blog, and it turned out super-fab. However, last night I was too tired to sit down and re-teach myself how to create awesome layouts, and so, for the time being, my blog will look as you see it now. I don't really enjoy using a basic template (always with the need to be individualistic, Cory Maria...) but at least it has green grass, blue skies, and dandelions-in-their-blowy form on it ♥.
So, why start blogging again now? I'm currently living in Ireland, and decided to make blogging my medium of choice for chronicling life on the Emerald Isle. Plus, I miss writing. Not status-updating, photo-commenting, facebook writing. Real writing. Reading all of Jennie Kelly's poignant and hilarious emails detailing her current exploits in Liberia has inspired me to start real-writing again. (Side Note: Cottey Girls, if you aren't on JK's email list, get on it. You won't be sorry). An added bonus to blogging? I can upload pictures on here! And, as you all know, I loooooove cameratic life-chronicling. Now, if I can just re-figure out how to add photos to posts...
♥
Once upon a time, before facebook (and even before that, LiveJournal) took up all of my internetal time, I lived for blogging. Not in a platformy-political-social-justicey sort of way. More like in a All of My Friends and I Have a Forum Where We Can Talk Shit About Whatever We Want sort of way. I even taught myself HTML so that I could delish-ify the Sisters Blog, and it turned out super-fab. However, last night I was too tired to sit down and re-teach myself how to create awesome layouts, and so, for the time being, my blog will look as you see it now. I don't really enjoy using a basic template (always with the need to be individualistic, Cory Maria...) but at least it has green grass, blue skies, and dandelions-in-their-blowy form on it ♥.
So, why start blogging again now? I'm currently living in Ireland, and decided to make blogging my medium of choice for chronicling life on the Emerald Isle. Plus, I miss writing. Not status-updating, photo-commenting, facebook writing. Real writing. Reading all of Jennie Kelly's poignant and hilarious emails detailing her current exploits in Liberia has inspired me to start real-writing again. (Side Note: Cottey Girls, if you aren't on JK's email list, get on it. You won't be sorry). An added bonus to blogging? I can upload pictures on here! And, as you all know, I loooooove cameratic life-chronicling. Now, if I can just re-figure out how to add photos to posts...
♥
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